April 25, 2012

Via Chicago

I'm back in my old apartment in Buffalo, in my sleeper and ATN, reflecting on the weekend and the time since I was last here. I'm leaving tomorrow for NYC, then back to my apartment in LA, home. I'm feeling a bit of the weight of the world, I've come a long way since I first landed in NY, still have a long way to go.

CapCon was amazing this weekend, the people, the organization, the energy and love all were unique and wonderful. My presentation worked on some levels, faultered on others. I need to focus on educating myself, on taking classes as opposed to teaching them. My headstrongness is a virtue, but without balance it can lead to missteps. This was my first time doing performance art/guided meditation/puppetry in front of a live audience, let alone an audience of littles, it was daunting, I was terribly nervous & it showed.

I feel honored to have been invited. I foresee more cons in my future, until I get more comfortable with "littles" group dynamics I'm going to be exploring & experiencing instead of taking a more active participating role. These things are still a new frontier for myself & the community, still much to be learned,

I'm finishing this post from a hospital waiting room in Buffalo, about to visit a friend in recovery, things are (?) for this young lady. I'm tired, wishing my tough exterior, a result of compounded negativity, could dissolve away and show the world the sweet little girl inside... It's not an easy transition, it's something that's going to come with love, safety, humility & learning experiences. This is a bit of a low for me, this site isn't really blossoming right now, my PayPal/YouTube have both been banned recently, it was expected. Give me a week and I'll be back home, back to crinkly blogging and shooting/editing video, I'll be sharing more smiles soon, I've had enough frowns.

Look forward to a thoughtful video soon, then more love, love, love.

Come out to Dave & Busters in Times Square Sunday night, email me for details!

5 comments:

  1. How long are you gonna be in Chicago? Are you gonna stop anywhere else in the midwest? (please be iowa if so! *crosses fingers*) You have been an inspiration to me riley it is insane! Your positive outlook and go to attitude brighten my day. I would love to be able to meet with you some time!

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  2. Hey there Riley keep your sunny side up you will reach your goal,and keep smiling I love watching your videos and blogs your a rock for many people around the world you have great energy,keep going you will be transformed into the person that's inside you soon,you are pretty and have a lovely voice,it has a calming effect on me you always sound relaxed and at ease I don't know how you feel about religon but sometimes I pray that you get to where you want to be and that you get there safe and happy take care,I will post again soon.

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  3. Hey do you have a diaperbook account? If so can you give me you name for your account? Or shoot me and email at kidkart72@gmx.com

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  4. Love the Wilco song title (if intended) in the title!!

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  5. It was a pleasure to meet you at Capcon and I hope to have opportunities to meet up with you in the future.

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Don't confront me with my failures, I have not forgotten them