granola genie

Hey there! What are you doing here? You should be over on Youtube searching for "pull-ups glow genie" to check out the awesome new glow-in-the-dark pull-ups! I'm really curious to check them out, I haven't had a chance to get a pack yet but you'll be the first to know!

 This is another marketing effort by the pull-ups people, i'm always a bit giddy about things like this. According to a review by Pamperchu the glow-in-the-dark aspect doesn't work great, even so, it's something new I hadn't even remotely considered before. You can tell I've been pretty obsessed with the Tinkerbell goodnites, I just love being little and fitting into these kids diapers, I'm such a little cuddler in them.

Here's a better link to the full-gallery tinkerbell pictures btw, sorry for all the nonsense with Picasa. 

post goes completely downhill from here, personal problems below this line

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This summer I've done really well to stay fit, though that has somewhat bitten me in the bottom. I get a call from my supermarket saying the brand of granola bar I eat (Cascadian Farms) was recalled for salmonella. I've had the flu for the last few days and ate a number of the granola bars and now I'm worried i'm really sick, not just the little sickness I get once a year when summers over. I'm hunched over in pain as I write this on my ipad, but I'm also wanting to write about the glow in the dark pull-ups before everyone else does... Honestly, I'm a bit of a wreck, the air quality here has me feeling very congested on top of this, I've seen a couple doctors but the problems only gotten worse, I'm thinking I'm going to go in today (to a different clinic, I don't have healthcare or a doctor here in LA) and see if I can't get some better answers, and see if I'm food poisoning sick or just regular sick. After my friend passed from cancer and a history of lung cancer in my family, I'm honestly pretty worried about the congestion thing.

 I've been having a tough year. I got here to LA, things were going great, but since my trip to Chicago, things have been tough. I've been sick a couple times, depressed, lonely, busy but not as productive as I'd like. I think living alone isn't the best thing for me sometimes. I'm considering finding roommates, I've been dropping off resumes to find a job, to save up, to get healthcare, to get a routine. I'm tired of just barely making it, i've done my adventuring and I'd really like to sit down and work, write, focus, instead of traveling and scraping by. I'm not sure who I'm writing this to, I think just to myself, I just feel *crushed* by the world sometimes, where I feel I have no future, I hardly feel like I'm transitioning right now due to my lack of proper medical care etc, very frustrating. Instead of doing what I should have done (useless regrets) and buckle down, take my hormones like a good girl and work towards SRS, I went off adventuring, figuring things out. I'm glad i've been where i've been, the friendships i've made, but I need to work on ME, on MY LIFE. 

My videos are getting better, i'm editing more, again, I think a job will be a really positive thing in my life. I have some ideas that need financing, and my stress levels will be much lower once I get my hormones/health stuff figured out. I'm just venting a bit, I appreciate you listening. Donations are always appreciated, contact me on my contact form (it's been down for a while, google docs issues). You'll get access to my private videos and my eternal appreciation. If you can donate, before the 18th would be great, it deeply saddens me how many people like myself have to make the decision between seeing a doctor and paying rent. I'm tired of that life, I feel a bit ashamed to have to ask for help like this, but it takes a village to raise this little girl :( HMore stuff soon, follow my twitter @rileybbq for more consistent updates, hopefully i'll have some positive news about my brutal tummy ache. 

Thanks for reading, for everything. I'm sorry i'm such a mess, i'm really trying to be as successful as I know I can be. Hugs.