here in your mind

Hey there diaper friends! this is little Riley Kilo, up before the sun is, writing a little post to share something that only a couple folks have seen so far. As many of you know, I have a private blog for the folks who have donated, mostly just naughty videos, stuff I wouldn't feel comfortable showing on youtube, it's also a bit of a testing ground for me. I posted a video on there the other day that involves some specific behavior, let me explain...

At first I was really cautious to show this for 2 reasosns, 1 - it shows a side of me that is very much in a submissive state, I've tried to only show the confident, grab life by the reins Riley. The second main reason is I don't really do this often, literally, maybe once a month, but I haven't done it in months since. Yes, we're talking about enemas and messing my diapers. These days if I ever mess its a production, plastic pants, enema, usually a bit of bondage, kind of a cleansing experience even more than it already is. The thins I don't like about it are the things that are just overall unattractive to human beings, but a long shower helps cure anything, I never spend very much time in the diaper I wear when I get an enema.

Since starting this blog its become much more integrated into my daily life. Many of the people I knew from High School, non-ABDL people, my "friends circle", a few of them have mentioned reading this site, and appreciating my forwardness. It's been a long road from being so afraid to wear diapers because I couldn't imagine even facing my friends knowing that I had this strange thing inside of me, and now they know all about it and if anything it's helped me reconnect with people, instead of alienate me. I'm working towards understanding of why we do these things, and know that many of these things are harmless, not as gross as it sounds, and unique to the individual that does them. I want people to learn to not take things for face value, they are often times more complex than you think.

This video shows a side of me that I'd like only people who understand ABDL nature to see, it's unlisted and exclusive to this post and my private blog. As hard as it may seem, what I do in this video is healthier than doing nothing at all in many ways, I've always found Enemas to be a good thing, especially if you have a bit of frozen yogurt after to get your body back in that balance, it's the after-care for the single submissive.  Time to finish this post, I'm going to be working with my family all day today, I'll be back later tonight. I think if I keep typing I won't have to actually post that video... I'm pretty nervous about it, it can be scary to show people really what goes on.

don't look back, don't worry Riley, a life without regret...