Pretty sunset

It's the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. I'm moving out of Hollywood, but not moving very far away, it's still LA, but getting a bit nicer digs. I'll have a shared kitchen and a room bigger than my apartment, friendly roommates. and most importantly, safety. I'm excited, at my current apartment from the bad-neighborhood vibe, I felt nervous saying the word "Diaper" loudly because the walls are so thin and there's so much foot traffic outside. I won't have that problem here, i'll be free to cam and make videos and maybe even build a crib : ) It's a touch more than my old place, but much nicer... Honestly, I go a little crazy when I live alone. I feel like i'm often my worst enemy, I've kicked some ass since moving to LA, but not enough, I could be kicking so much more. It was a nice stepping stone but it's nice to step beyond that.

My first goal was to move to a safe, better place and my second goal is a car. My plan is to have a car by Jan. 15th and no later, that'll be about 2 months after moving to this new place and exactly 1 year after I moved to LA. I never had that Christmas morning where I run outside and theres a Lexus with a bow on it, but i'm working towards something kinda like that, maybe a Saturn with full tank of gas? I'm feeling positive, i'll post more soon! Just giving you a little update on my situation and stress levels, hugs guise!

 ----- I wrote this post a few days ago, but there was a little bug (not a snugglebug) in my ear that made me rethink that, I figured it was best to wait until I had all my stuff moved and some money put down before I told the world the good news. I'm all moved in, all boxed up still and running around town taking care of biz, handing off the keys and turning the proverbial page. My new place is big, unique and i'm hoping it stays sane. We're talking a good amount of transpeople living under the same roof, an arrangement I always kinda swore against, but this I'm thinking will work. We'll see... lots of new videos and more and more webcam stuffs soon, I finally have fast consistent internet so you'll see more of this little girl than ever :) How exciting! I'm actually sitting next to a cute transgirl in downtown LA at the moment, we're both playing coy, I kinda want to flirt but i'm a bit too busy writing this post... The things I sacrifice for media! One last thought, and this is a little tough personal love.

Over the course of this site, you've probably noticed the recurring theme of ups and downs, depression and reemergence, a bit of the "grass is always greener". At points in my life, I've initiated minor changes, cities, apartments, physical genders, i've invested dearly in these changes, my life has and always will be about growing, learning, seeing new things... But in terms of making a better life for myself, theq changes need to be bigger. I need to STAYpositive, STAYactive, STAYprodictive, I need to watch my chemical intake and my emotional levels, find consistency and positive patterns, make internal changes to reflect the external ones. Yoga and writing and crinkles and little-time and video and stories and lots and lots of bear cuddles. Modest Mouse sang "And I claim I'm not excited with my life anymore :: So I blame this town, this job, these friends, the truth is it's myself" - its a sad thought, but its also empowering. Can i really change myself, de-mess my existance?

 Big snuggles and more better-than-ever StayDiapered.com soon! Thanks for everything, love and smiles for all my diapered friends